Making the Audience Fall in Love with Your Speech (And You)
When I was a child, I was extremely shy. So shy that I would hide behind my parents when we had guests over in fear of being disliked or judged.
In a desperate attempt to help me break out of my shell, my mom enrolled me in improv classes. What I thought would be silly warm-up games and awkward vocal exercises turned into the most fundamental lessons about owning my charisma through verbal communication, which improved my public speaking, whether on a large stage in front of thousands of people or in a crucial first impression.
As a Speech Consultant at the Center for Speech and Debate, I help students improve their public speaking skills. I’ve learned through these sessions that the key to leveling up one’s persuasive speaking skills lies in charisma and charm:
Being Authentic
Think about all the most charismatic celebrities, politicians, and CEOs you know. Not all of them are funny or outwardly kind. Still, they all share one thing in common: they exude authenticity, display sincerity, or possess an extremely relatable quality that many people find themselves falling in love with. This down-to-earthness creates a deep trust between them and the audience, automatically making anything they say more consumable.
The most well-liked people are trusted because their intentions seem pure, and often, they truly are! Whether through thoughtful actions, asking questions about people’s day, or empathizing with your audience, people want to know that you understand and care about what they care about. Your audience is much more likely to listen to what you have to say if you establish a strong rapport that shows you consider their feedback and desires.
One way to build this reputation with your audience is to incorporate your real tone and rhythm. If you naturally use a lot of humor in your day-to-day conversations with your friends, then don’t shy away from showcasing your comedic skills with strangers, too. Thoughtful compliments are also a great way to let your audience know you notice important things about them. Even something as simple as thanking your audience for taking the time to sit through traffic to listen to you speak shows empathy and compassion.
Another way is to speak about things you know. In the center, I noticed many of my students choosing larger-than-life topics to sound impressive or trying to sound overly academic in interviews. Unfortunately, it is evident when someone tries to sound smart by using big words that no one understands or addressing an incredibly nuanced topic that even the most dedicated political scientists would struggle to answer. When you speak about topics you care about, your passion and real investment in your audience’s opinions will shine through, allowing you to form a much more compelling argument.
In other words, just be yourself!
Being Vulnerable:
Authenticity and vulnerability go hand in hand, and while many people have no issue being casual or incorporating relatable humor in their speaking, they also struggle with opening up about their personal experiences.
A professor doesn’t need to lower himself to the education levels of his students to teach them effectively, but it does help to relate to your students in their journey to understanding the concept. One example I look to when it comes to being vulnerable, yet charming, is Stephen Curry. Curry is one of the most beloved athletes of all time, despite being one of the most famous and competitive, and it’s because he doesn’t adopt a god-like attitude or claim effortless perfection. He is open about his struggles, from the relentless rejection he went through early on to the impostor syndrome he still experiences even after his undeniable success.
When average NBA fans see how Curry understands what it’s like to fail, it makes all the times he succeeds that much more inspiring and motivating. In our cases as public speakers, this can involve honestly sharing a time when we doubted our beliefs and what caused us to reaffirm them, or a time when we struggled to understand something, and how we overcame that struggle.
Being approachable doesn’t diminish your credibility as a speaker; it strengthens it because it reflects the expertise you needed to gather to fully understand the topic you’re speaking about.
Being Confident:
The last tip to become more charismatic is staying comfortable. If you are comfortable and casual, your audience will feel at ease, therefore staying engaged and entertaining your points. If you are tense and nervous, your audience will follow, distracting them from the importance of your speaking points.
Body language and timing are the largest indicators of staying comfortable in the spotlight. I know what you’re thinking – intentional movement and not rushing through a speech is a lot harder said than done, but with diligent practice and preparation, it can be achieved. Something I like to remind my students of as a coach is that your audience WANTS you to succeed. Nobody enjoys watching someone crash and burn on stage. Interviewers are searching for someone to fulfill their employment needs, and audience members are listening to you with the intention of learning something new. The more time you spend dwelling on what you’re not good at, the more likely it is for your audience and peers to notice it too.
Remind yourself of your purpose and intention. Study the details of the topics you speak about. Then, practice your strategic timing and body language with the fact that you are educated and knowledgeable in mind. Fake it till you make it is my philosophy when practicing speeches. I often record myself practicing my speech, pretending to be an industry professional, depending on the subject, and altering my delivery accordingly for the real thing. The confidence will inevitably follow.
If you witnessed someone embarrassingly fall down the stairs, do you remember exactly what they looked like and think about it for the rest of your life? The answer is most likely no. For the person who fell, this might feel like a life-altering event, but the people who saw it don’t care for more than a couple of minutes. Life goes on, and people have other things to worry about.
The same thing applies to speaking. Speaking from personal experience, if you mess up somewhere, just move on, and I guarantee your audience will too. By the end of your speech, people won’t be able to pick out the exact moments you thought you did poorly. You are your own biggest critic, so use that to your advantage in practice while recording yourself and gathering feedback, and forget about it in performance because at that point, you can’t change anything anyway.
If you apply all three of these fundamentals in your everyday life, they become natural and seamless in your public speaking, too. Remember: be authentically yourself, allow yourself to be vulnerable and relatable, and have faith in your expertise and practice. Once you achieve these three things, you are well on your way to being a more charismatic and loved speaker.
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